WHY NOTRE DAME SUCKS

1. Notre Dame hasn't won a bowl game in their last 8 attempts. And they've only been to 27 bowl games.


2. Notre Dame's fan base consists predominantly of fans who couldn't get into Notre Dame and have no idea where South Bend is on a map.

3. Notre Dame has a losing bowl record. And they've only been to 27 bowl games.

4. Notre Dame's Heisman winners are the product of popularity contests, not the product of the best performance by football players.


5. Similarly, Notre Dame's "national championships" are the result of popularity, and not the result of being the best team. You can be popular without being good. For example, consider the popularity of McDonald's and soccer.

6. Notre Dame's record in the past 50 years isn't in the top 10.

7. Notre Dame fans cite their record of excellence, despite most of their success occurring when the Charleston was popular.

8.  The fight song is just terrible. Fortunately, we only have to hear it before the game.


9. Notre Dame has had major NCAA violations and went on probation for two years.

10. Notre Dame has had several incidents of racism.

11. Notre Dame represents itself as THE Catholic institution of higher learning, which is arrogant and untrue. There are many fine Catholic universities, such as Boston College and Georgetown.

12. Notre Dame represents itself as THE Catholic football factory. Perhaps someone should inform the Domers that recently, Boston College has the And Boston College has faced a tougher schedule.

13. Firing Ty Willingham after 3 years, yet letting Faust stay on for 5 years. If you say this is a case of Notre Dame learning from their mistakes, then realize that Willingham had a better first year than Weis.

14. Hiring George O'Leary.

15. Joe Theismann.

16. Changing the pronounciation of one's surname from THEEZ-man to rhyme with Heisman. What a sellout!

17. Afraid to join a conference like the Big Ten. Could it be because Notre Dame has a losing record against the Big Ten since 1994?

18. Holier than thou attitude.

19. Fourth and short Jesus.

20. Exclusive TV contract with NBC, yet ever-forgetful of what Christ said: "It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God" (Matthew 19:24).

21. Notre Dame is always overrated by pollsters in pre-season polls, as evidenced by this study. 

22. Notre Dame is always overrated in final polls, as evidenced by their bowl record. And they've only been to 27 bowl games.

23. The favoritism shown towards Notre Dame by media idiots like Beano Cook and Tom Lemming.

24. The Notre Dame hype machine.

25. That this is the only top 25 list Notre Dame deserves to be on.

Got more? Send them our way.

Punt, goddamnit!